From Procrastinator to Over-doer

[Image Description: A picture of a blurred out checklist is shown in a notebook with graph paper. Each to-do list item has a blank checkbox next to it. The writer is holding a black pen in their end, ready to write the next item on their list.] Item Description: Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Growing up, I was a pro at procrastination. In school, I waited until the night before to study or write my papers (yep, even in college). I didn’t do outlines. I didn’t start writing a week before and then add to it. If I had to read a book (sooo many books in college), I would start that a little ahead of time, but everything else I put off for as long as possible. There were definitely still some nights where I had to read an entire book the night before a test though. I procrastinated on chores and other things too. I always wanted to do all the fun stuff first and save for the work for when it absolutely had to be done.

I can’t pinpoint exactly when this changed—at some point in my post-school, adult years. It was likely when I started working full-time and had to get things done by a deadline or in a certain amount of time. Over time though, I became the exact opposite of a procrastinator—I became an over-doer. I couldn’t relax unless my to-do list was done. I wanted to get all my chores and tasks done as soon as possible so I felt like I could breathe and enjoy myself.

Though I got a lot more done this way which was great, the “over” in “over-doing” started to catch up with me. I was doing too much and not giving myself the time I needed to relax. I would just go and go and go until I was too tired or sore or in pain to really enjoy myself anyway. It started to become almost like a compulsion. My brain kept telling me I had to get this, that, and the other thing done on my list before I could sit down and read or watch a movie. My bathroom had to be spotless. My laundry had to be complete. It started to, understandably, cause me a lot of mental and physical stress.

Sometimes, I have to do things this way because if I sit down, it’s really hard for me to get back up. I can’t just take a rest on the sofa every so often because the energy and strength it takes to get back up is worse than me standing and doing things for a certain period of time.

I still procrastinate on occasion. Usually when it involves making phone calls (especially ones to my health insurance provider) or doing something that might require a lot of physical effort, or if I feel overwhelmed.

As my body has changed and pain has become a more frequent visitor though, I’ve started to try and find a balance. To give myself the grace to not have to do everything all at once. To know it’s ok to sit and rest and relax without having all my cleaning and to-dos done first. I don’t have to wait until the last minute either, but it’s ok to leave the package unopened for a few days. It’s ok if that chore doesn’t get done today, tomorrow, or even the next day. It’s ok to have a whole day where I do nothing but sit and read and catch up on my shows (with my pooch in my lap).

It’s funny how we change as we get older. I was procrastinator and an over-doer for the same reasons: I just wanted to be able to sit and relax. I wanted to do the “fun” stuff. Now I’m learning to give myself the grace to do that as much as I need it, and to remind myself that the world won’t fall apart if I don’t get all my cleaning done, if that blanket hasn’t been washed yet, or if I haven’t made all those phone calls I need to.

As the holidays, and my holiday vacation, rapidly approach, I have a to-do list of some things I want to get done while I have the time. But the most important thing I want to get done is to rest and do all the things I enjoy like taking my dog for a pup cup, reading, watching movies, and writing.

Are you more of a procrastinator or an over-doer? Or have you found that lovely balance right in the middle?