How to Cope

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Disability and Determination is a weekly newsletter about my experience navigating life with a rare disability. If you like this post, feel free to give a click on the ❤️ symbol below. This will help me get discovered by others on Substack. To be notified of future posts, drop your email in the field at the bottom and click the Subscribe button. If you’d like to further contribute, I also offer a paid subscription option (that includes extra monthly content), or you can Buy Me a Coffee ☕ I’m glad you’re here ☺️

Things have been getting increasingly worse here in the States. The federal enforcement agency known as ICE is literally kidnapping 5 year olds and taking more innocent lives. As someone who has spent a lot of my adult years studying the Holocaust, Japanese internment, slavery, and other important historical events, the images of people being dragged out of their cars, shot in their car while driving away, or shot for trying to help someone else, are beyond what I can comprehend. Call me naive, but I never expected that type of thing to jump off the pages of history and into our present day. Last week, I watched a baby ripped from their father’s arms by ICE agents as that father had a seizure in the front seat of his car. Have people really lost their humanity so much that doing something like that is ok? And then to justify it on top of it? Have they completely lost their ability to see the humanity in others? No one deserves to be killed, detained, or brutalized in the way that people are right now. We love to blame everyone else for our problems or struggles here—and oftentimes the people who get blamed or punished are a part of a marginalized group. Meanwhile the problems and struggles are only getting worse. It’s becoming more challenging to figure out where to channel all the sadness and the anger.

All of this is why it’s more crucial now than ever to take care of our mental health. It’s not my cup of tea to say “here’s what you should do”, so instead I’ll share some of the things I’ve been doing to help me cope in case they help you too:

• Limit news intake - It’s always good to be informed, but with so much bad news happening everyday, it’s super important for me to limit what I’m exposed to. I never watch the news (though sometimes my mom has it on) and I try to limit how much I’m on Instagram since I don’t have any other social media. I get emails from organizations I care about so I get a good snapshot of what’s going on from those.

• Little treats - The little things can make such a difference in times like these. I know that many people are struggling financially right now, so I recognize that this may not work for everyone, but I buy myself flowers every week and treat myself to a coffee out every so often. I had stopped buying books too, but a new independent bookstore opened up by me so I’m going to cut back on other expenses so I can buy books from them sometimes.

• Spending time with my dog - He is seriously one of the best things for my mental health. Petting him, taking him outside, having him cuddle on my lap…it’s the best for reminding me of the joy that still exists.

• Therapy - This might seem obvious, or maybe therapy isn’t something you’re interested in. What I can say is that I have a therapist who is on the same page as me politically, COVID-wise, and who is also disabled which is amazing. I’ve never been able to find a therapist who really understood any of that and she helps me navigate these trying times better (while also helping me feel heard and understood).

• Listening to fun podcasts - When I switched to working from home, my podcast intake went way down without my commute. I also have a high-focus job so I can’t listen to anything with words when I’m doing most of my work. I’ve found some great ones lately like Good Hang with Amy Poehler so I’ve been working on fitting them into my day when I’m doing chores or other things. They make me laugh and give me a mental reprieve from the outside world for a bit.

• Take it easy - This one probably sounds a little vague. What does that even mean? For me, it means getting the rest I need—physically and mentally. If I need a day or two or three to do nothing but relax and sleep in, then I’ll do it (I recognize that’s a luxury to be able to do that too since I don’t have many responsibilities). Protecting your peace can come in all forms but rest can be a huge one—even if it’s just taking 5 minutes for yourself to rest or reset. I’m trying to make sure that more of what I do when I’m taking it easy is mind and body nourishing too (not just sitting on the binge watching TV, even though that’s totally needed sometimes too).

• Meditation - I’m such a flaky meditator. I’ll start off strong and then stop doing it for a while, but once I pick it back up again, I’m always reminded of how much it helps me. Even just for 5 minutes of my day. There are a ton of meditation apps out there but my favorite is Happier Meditation (formerly 10% Happier which is also a great book I highly recommend). My meditation journey actually started out with my meditating totally on my own (just sitting quietly with my eyes closed in my room and focusing on my breath), but I found that I actually enjoy guided meditations much more. Happier has a meditation for just about every scenario you could think of too.

• Action helps anxiety - There is so much going on that we can’t control right now which can make coping even more difficult. For me, taking even a small action can help give me some relief. Whether it’s doing a call-to-action webinar, calling/emailing my local congressperson (who is a total tool, but I do it anyway), reading up on something, or donating to a cause…doing something, and something I can control, can really help.

• Reach out to friends - Even if it’s just a weekly phone call, connecting with loved ones can make such a difference. I can often talk through a lot of my fears or feelings about what’s going on with my friends and parents too, and that really helps. Sometimes just getting things out of my head and heart, and out into the open can make a difference in how I’m feeling (very much true of writing here too).

• Gratitude/Appreciation - Another slightly cliche one, but I’ve gone into 2026 with a focus on the abundance I have in my life—and there’s a whole lot of it. I don’t keep a journal or a gratitude list or anything—I don’t need anything else to add to my to-do list, but I try to look around me everyday and remind myself of all that I have. It might seem counterintuitive or selfish to do this when other people are being put through so much, but taking care of our own mental health means we can more fully show up to take action and take a stand against hatred and injustice.

I hope some or all of these help, but I also want to hear if there’s anything you’re doing to help cope with everything going on right now.

☮️❤️