Disability and Determination is a weekly newsletter about my experience living with a rare disability…with a little bit of meditation, pop culture, and other random things thrown in. If you like this post, give me a like with the ❤️ symbol below. This will help me get discovered by others on Substack. Drop your email in the field at the bottom and click the Subscribe button to be notified of future posts!
Every year, I attempt to watch as many of the Golden Globe and Oscar nominations as I can (attempt being the key word) . I usually don’t achieve it for one reason or another. This year, I don’t have an interest in seeing them all.
This weekend though, I watched Nyad (Annette Bening is nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role) and Nai Nai and Wài Pó (nominated for Best Documentary Short). They were both really good and both a fantastic testament to the power of the human spirit no matter what age you are.
The theme that was woven throughout both films that struck me though is that, in life, we can’t do anything alone. Diana Nyad did the swim from Cuba to Florida by herself in terms of the actual swim, but she never would have achieved it without the team of people who were with her the entire time, or without the unwavering support of her best friend and coach, Bonnie. Nai Nai (meaning “paternal grandmother”) and Wài Pó (meaning “maternal grandmother”) might have still been ok if they lived alone, but living together, they really thrive. Nai Nai was in her 90s when the documentary was filmed and Wài Pó in her 80s, and I think there’s something extra special about living out your later years with a great friend or family member.
We live in a culture that very much promotes the idea of rugged individualism. I have issues with that idea for many reasons but the reality is, none of us can do everything alone. That looks different for everyone, but none of us make it through life alone. At some point, we will always need help. At some point, we will always need support.
Obviously living with a disability, I need some extra help with various things. But even without that, I never would have made it this far without help and support. I wouldn’t have gone to college without financial help. I wouldn’t have made it through some of the toughest years of my life without the support of my family and friends. I wouldn’t have made it through living on my own for a year without the help my neighbors gave me or the laughter my coworkers inspired every week. There are hundreds of other examples.
Those are mostly a lot of practical examples. It’s definitely the emotional support that’s gotten me through the most though. I think that’s what really counts in life too. Those friends that are always there to listen or help talk you through tough times. Parents or family to give you a hug when you need it. I’m framing this all as a single person, but there’s no doubt, if you have a significant other in your life, they can provide all of that too.
I don’t know what my life is going to look like as I get older, especially if I’m still flying solo. What I do hope though is that I have a Nai Nai or a Bonnie to grow old with. To laugh with and dance with.
Would love to hear some of the ways support has shown up in your life too.
I’ll close out this post with a classic, albeit obvious, choice that speaks to this theme. One of my favorites from one of my all-time favorite albums…
I think "The Golden Girls" got it right. Communal living is really important, and should be something we work toward with intention as we age. Lovely post, Jackie. xo
I may never want to get married again, so I'm ok with dying alone. And by alone, I mean without a companion. But I know I'll never be alone because of my family and closest friends. My BFF wants to buy and island, set up a retreat of some sort, and have cabana boys cater to our every need until the day we die. And I'm perfectly ok with that. LOL