Why Age Isn't Just a Number

When You're Disabled

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“Age is nothing but a number”. “50 is the new 40”. These are adages you hear a lot. They’re nice in theory, but when you’re disabled, they’re not helpful and are actually pretty ableist.

Feeling that age is just a number, or that you’re actually younger at a certain age is a privilege you don’t really get when you’re disabled, especially if you live with a progressive disease. Aging is very much a number and oftentimes, your body ages faster or feels older than it actually is.

Mine certainly has. I’m in my 40s now, but my body is very much that of a senior citizen, especially with my osteoporosis. I’ve never been able to lift things or go up stairs easily, even when I was in my teens and 20s. The older I get, the harder things get, and the less certain I am about what kind of shape I’ll be in when I get older. No doctor can tell me for sure whether or not my form of muscular dystrophy gets worse either. So that’s a giant question mark for my future. A lot of people travel when they retire. I’m not sure that’s going to be an option for me. Also, since I’m single and childless, I may end up in an assisted living facility or need in-home care much earlier on. And as my parents age, I’m not able to take care of them.

Do I still look young? Yes. But that doesn’t do you much good when your body feels much older than it is. You could be 30 but feel 40. You could be 20 but feel 50. “Age is nothing but a number” just doesn’t apply to everyone. You can mentally feel young if you have a physical disability, yes (though I can say that I definitely do not), but you don’t get the luxury of feeling like the rest of you is still young when you don’t have control of how your body ages, or the pain you have, or the things you can no longer do.

That doesn’t mean aging is all doom and gloom. As

Kelly Mack

astutely points out in her writing, aging is still a privilege for us, no matter what that may look like. I may not be able to do all the things I used to. I may be in more pain. I may use a walker and have a disease only people of a certain age usually get, but that doesn’t mean my quality of life is crap (like society would often have us belief). I still have plenty I can do and plenty of things to be thankful for. All the physical stuff aside, I’m much more wise and confident than I was when I was younger, and I wouldn’t trade that for much.

What has aging meant for you?