You’re Simply the Best

The image above is a page from

Nedra Glover Tawwab

’s book Consider This. I’ve been reading a few pages out of it everyday and there are some amazing wisdom nuggets in there, let me tell you.

I’ve always felt like I had to be not just good at whatever I undertake, but really good. Piano? Had to be the best at the recital. Student? Couldn’t get less than all As (though I very much did once I went to college). Board games or any kind of competition? Have to be the winner. Work? Have to be perfect and give 110% at all times.

I’ve put so much pressure on myself over the years to be good at whatever I attempt. It’s as exhausting as it sounds. Why would I do something that exhausts me, you ask? Because I thought I had to. I held the ableist belief that no one would like me because of my disability, so I had to impress them in any other way possible. I had to be the smartest and the hardest working to be seen and accepted.

I would like to say at the age of 40, I’ve shaken that habit because I know I’m worth something even if I’m terrible or mediocre at everything. But I still often find myself doing it at places like work annd even in places like physical therapy. I also really like my job so it’s easy to want to give them my all). I have this desire to try and impress everyone with how well I do everything to prove my worth. I’ve never thought that who I am as-is is enough.

If you’re holding yourself to the same unreasonable standards of perfection I have for so long, I hope you know that you are worthy and valuable exactly as you are. You don’t have to be the best at everything, or even anything. We all have special gifts to offer the world (though I can think of a couple people who are exceptions to that currently). Maybe you make your friends laugh. Maybe you’re always letting people go in front of you in line or when you’re driving. Maybe you make those around you feel calm. Maybe you have a special set of knowledge no one else has. The list goes on and on.

If you have a disability, that doesn’t mean you have less to offer the world and therefore need to compensate for that. We have absolutely nothing we need to compensate for. If anything, the world has a whole lot to compensate us for. We certainly have a very special set of skills and knowledge that others don’t. Our experiences are all unique, even for those of us who share the same type of disability.

If you’re struggling with this need for perfection or greatness, I’m here to tell you that you’re awesome just the way you are. You don’t need to go above and beyond to prove anything to anyone. Don’t burn yourself out because you think you have to do that to get people to like and accept you. If people don’t like and accept you exactly as you are, that’s a them problem. You’ll be awesome at so many things even if those things aren’t everything.