I literally stayed up all night to watch that series in one. So good. A dear, dear friend was diagnosed with rectal cancer. I was with her when the doctor told her the best course of action. It was early enough. Cut it all out, and go through a course of chemo, see where things stood from there. But she refused, because that would mean wearing a stoma. She couldn't bear that. Now, she was in her mid-70s, her husband had already passed away. She wasn't going to go to the beach in a bikini. But the standards of what's "beautiful" and "acceptable" -- even/especially personally -- are rooted deep. The cancer was more aggressive than thought, she ended up with the stoma, and 9 years of aggressive and experimental treatments that left her unable to walk for much of it. She lost her independence. Yes, she bought time. She also incurred great pain...agony, even. Broke my heart.
Coming from verbal/emotional abuse, I took Belle's "perfect" statement a little differently. Clive said, "She's perfect," and Belle wanted to hurt him (clearly, his attention was not on her). Not discounting your take at all. When that line was delivered, it was right out of my mother's playbook. Get the book THE WOMAN WHO FOOLED THE WORLD. It's really well done. So is this. Cheers, Jackie. xo
It was so good! It makes me sad that our society conditions us all to not receive the help that literally might save our lives because of how it might look or because it’ll make us different. Then some of these self-proclaimed wellness experts come along and prey on and reinforce that idea. Your poor friend.
I appreciate your take on that moment in the show too. I can definitely see that. I think two things can be true. Belle was trying to hurt Clive and her statement was also ableist. I’ll definitely check that book out too, thanks for the recommendation! I’ve been watching Scamanda on Hulu now which is about yet another person who faked cancer for personal gain. Sheesh.
Yeah, Scamanda is trash. And both are true. Get the audiobook, though. An Aussie dude reads it. It’s like a vacation only you’re pissed a lot of the time. xo
I can’t really do audiobooks though that one sounds intriguing. I can sit and proofread for work for hours but I can’t listen to an audiobook without getting distracted or my mind wandering even if I’m listening to it while cleaning or something 😂
Thank you for this thoughtful piece! I think the show did such a great job exposing just how dangerous these wellness influencers and our ingrained ableism can be.
I find the fact that the character of Milla blamed herself for her cancer diagnosis to be both fascinating and disturbing. It's so sad that, especially for women, we have been conditioned to so often believe that we are in the wrong. That it's our fault we're not right or perfect. And why is chronic illness/disability thought of in this way? That you're somehow "bad" if you are disabled and it must be your fault. It's so sad that ableism is so deeply rooted that it can cause someone to believe that.
Thank you so much Cassandra! That really struck me too. The self blame for cancer! Something a lot of these fake wellness places seem to perpetuate too.
It really is so sad. The ableism in the way treatment was handled and then in the way we’re all blamed for what we have. Well said! Thank you for reading and commenting.
Not only does the healthcare system suck big hairy balls here in the U.S., you definitely nailed it when it comes to healthcare and POC. I remember you talking about this show last time. I understand wanting to try alternatives and not wanting to contaminate your body with toxic chemicals. While it may remove the cancer, you're living with the consequences of something else getting fucked up later.
It's tough losing a limb, but I think it would be harder to lose an arm, because my thoughts would be, "This shit is gonna be HARD." So many things we do requires strong upper body strength. And sure, I can get a prosthetic (hoping that medical ins would cover it, but my luck, they wouldn't) but I know it's gonna look nothing like what Bucky got when he ended up in Wakanda (honestly, that shit was cool and I really wish a place like that existed).
My uncle had stage 4 melanoma about 10 years ago and they actually used medicine for brain cancer to treat it and it totally got rid of the cancer. He had some side effects (most went away and a couple didn’t) but as he would say, he’s alive, and he’s in great shape (and he’s almost 80).
I definitely would agree it would be hard to lose a limb. Huge adjustment. It just becomes ableist when people don’t want to do it or risk their life because of how it looks or they think it makes them less beautiful. Which is what society tells us so it’s hard to shake that. I’ve also had a lot of “wellness” people think my disability can simply be cured with some essential oils or stuff like that so that gets annoying. I love that you used Bucky as an example too 😂 Definitely wish there was a Wakanda IRL, especially now.
I'm not going to read this yet because I haven't watched the show... but I had it on my list! Will it infuriate me? I feel like I've got more than enough rage right now lol. Figured I would check before watching!
For me, it just got me thinking. The fact this person existed in real life that faked cancer is infuriating but as a show, it didn’t infuriate me thankfully (100% on the same page with you on not needing any more of that). It is very sad in a lot of ways too. Really makes you look at the power of social media these days and how dangerous it can be. Since it’s one of those based on a true story things too I think my brain was able to compartmentalize too since some of it is fiction. It’s filmed and told in an interesting way too. If does infuriate you I’ll apologize in advance 😂
I’m intrigued now (for maybe all the wrong reasons; like watching footage of a car crash), so I just might check this out. Thanks Jackie! A thoughtful take.
Thank you my friend! It was very binge worthy and for me at least it had the intended affect of getting me to think about that stuff so I always appreciate when a show can do that.
I literally stayed up all night to watch that series in one. So good. A dear, dear friend was diagnosed with rectal cancer. I was with her when the doctor told her the best course of action. It was early enough. Cut it all out, and go through a course of chemo, see where things stood from there. But she refused, because that would mean wearing a stoma. She couldn't bear that. Now, she was in her mid-70s, her husband had already passed away. She wasn't going to go to the beach in a bikini. But the standards of what's "beautiful" and "acceptable" -- even/especially personally -- are rooted deep. The cancer was more aggressive than thought, she ended up with the stoma, and 9 years of aggressive and experimental treatments that left her unable to walk for much of it. She lost her independence. Yes, she bought time. She also incurred great pain...agony, even. Broke my heart.
Coming from verbal/emotional abuse, I took Belle's "perfect" statement a little differently. Clive said, "She's perfect," and Belle wanted to hurt him (clearly, his attention was not on her). Not discounting your take at all. When that line was delivered, it was right out of my mother's playbook. Get the book THE WOMAN WHO FOOLED THE WORLD. It's really well done. So is this. Cheers, Jackie. xo
It was so good! It makes me sad that our society conditions us all to not receive the help that literally might save our lives because of how it might look or because it’ll make us different. Then some of these self-proclaimed wellness experts come along and prey on and reinforce that idea. Your poor friend.
I appreciate your take on that moment in the show too. I can definitely see that. I think two things can be true. Belle was trying to hurt Clive and her statement was also ableist. I’ll definitely check that book out too, thanks for the recommendation! I’ve been watching Scamanda on Hulu now which is about yet another person who faked cancer for personal gain. Sheesh.
Yeah, Scamanda is trash. And both are true. Get the audiobook, though. An Aussie dude reads it. It’s like a vacation only you’re pissed a lot of the time. xo
I can’t really do audiobooks though that one sounds intriguing. I can sit and proofread for work for hours but I can’t listen to an audiobook without getting distracted or my mind wandering even if I’m listening to it while cleaning or something 😂
The only time I have to “read” is when I’m driving or doing laundry. LOL. And, yes, I hit that “back 30” button A LOT. xo
Thank you for this thoughtful piece! I think the show did such a great job exposing just how dangerous these wellness influencers and our ingrained ableism can be.
I find the fact that the character of Milla blamed herself for her cancer diagnosis to be both fascinating and disturbing. It's so sad that, especially for women, we have been conditioned to so often believe that we are in the wrong. That it's our fault we're not right or perfect. And why is chronic illness/disability thought of in this way? That you're somehow "bad" if you are disabled and it must be your fault. It's so sad that ableism is so deeply rooted that it can cause someone to believe that.
Thank you so much Cassandra! That really struck me too. The self blame for cancer! Something a lot of these fake wellness places seem to perpetuate too.
It really is so sad. The ableism in the way treatment was handled and then in the way we’re all blamed for what we have. Well said! Thank you for reading and commenting.
Not only does the healthcare system suck big hairy balls here in the U.S., you definitely nailed it when it comes to healthcare and POC. I remember you talking about this show last time. I understand wanting to try alternatives and not wanting to contaminate your body with toxic chemicals. While it may remove the cancer, you're living with the consequences of something else getting fucked up later.
It's tough losing a limb, but I think it would be harder to lose an arm, because my thoughts would be, "This shit is gonna be HARD." So many things we do requires strong upper body strength. And sure, I can get a prosthetic (hoping that medical ins would cover it, but my luck, they wouldn't) but I know it's gonna look nothing like what Bucky got when he ended up in Wakanda (honestly, that shit was cool and I really wish a place like that existed).
My uncle had stage 4 melanoma about 10 years ago and they actually used medicine for brain cancer to treat it and it totally got rid of the cancer. He had some side effects (most went away and a couple didn’t) but as he would say, he’s alive, and he’s in great shape (and he’s almost 80).
I definitely would agree it would be hard to lose a limb. Huge adjustment. It just becomes ableist when people don’t want to do it or risk their life because of how it looks or they think it makes them less beautiful. Which is what society tells us so it’s hard to shake that. I’ve also had a lot of “wellness” people think my disability can simply be cured with some essential oils or stuff like that so that gets annoying. I love that you used Bucky as an example too 😂 Definitely wish there was a Wakanda IRL, especially now.
I'm not going to read this yet because I haven't watched the show... but I had it on my list! Will it infuriate me? I feel like I've got more than enough rage right now lol. Figured I would check before watching!
For me, it just got me thinking. The fact this person existed in real life that faked cancer is infuriating but as a show, it didn’t infuriate me thankfully (100% on the same page with you on not needing any more of that). It is very sad in a lot of ways too. Really makes you look at the power of social media these days and how dangerous it can be. Since it’s one of those based on a true story things too I think my brain was able to compartmentalize too since some of it is fiction. It’s filmed and told in an interesting way too. If does infuriate you I’ll apologize in advance 😂
I’m intrigued now (for maybe all the wrong reasons; like watching footage of a car crash), so I just might check this out. Thanks Jackie! A thoughtful take.
Thank you my friend! It was very binge worthy and for me at least it had the intended affect of getting me to think about that stuff so I always appreciate when a show can do that.
Great topic. Well written. Made me think. Thank you.
Thank you so much Kai! Those are the highest compliments I could receive, so I appreciate it.