Proud Owner Of...

---

Disability and Determination is a weekly newsletter about my experience living with a rare disability…with a little bit of meditation, pop culture, and other random things thrown in. If you like this post, give me a like with the ❤️ symbol below. This will help me get discovered by others on Substack. Drop your email in the field at the bottom and click the Subscribe button to be notified of future posts (I offer a free and a paid subscription option)!

---

I’d like to introduce you to Red, my new walker (aptly named, I know):

[Image Description: A picture of author’s new rollator walker. The two handles and seat are black, along with the wheels. The rest of the walker is a bright red. There’s a curved bar at the back to give support when someone sits on it.]

I was finally able to get an actual physical and occupational therapy appointment last week at the brand new facility near me. It was just me and my therapist there. He and I talked about how I had been thinking about getting a cane and he suggested a walker instead, giving me all the reasons why it would be better. Exactly why I wanted to see a professional too because I had a feeling they might think of things I wouldn’t.

He asked if a walker was something I would be ready for to which I responded “uhhh”. I honestly wasn’t sure at first. I’ve come a long way in my ableist resistance to using mobility aids but a rollator walker was something my grandma had used in her 80s and 90s. It felt like it was admitting I really was aging and my disability really was getting worse—or at least managing it was. It’s something that would make me stand out in public even more than I already do too.

My PT showed me the one they had in the office and I told him to go ahead and order it. I could see all of the ways it might benefit me and if my insurance would cover at least some of it, it would be worth a try.

He put in the order for the rollator which my doctor had to sign off on— something she must have done instantaneously because the medical equipment company called me before I had even made it home from my appointment to set up the delivery.

Red was at my door by 9pm that same night. I’ve taken her for a couple of spins. I’m dog sitting for a neighbor so I’ve been taking her out for that. I took her to a doctor’s appointment today and was glad I was able to get her in and out of the car. The best part, I was able to use her to get up a curb, something I had been hoping a cane would help with but the walker is much more stable. I think I actually walk faster with it too because I feel more stable. Plus it has the seat (with storage underneath, I might add) if I need to take a load off.

Admitting I need help has never been something that comes easily to me. I’m stubborn and I like to try do things on my own, even at the risk of hurting myself. But as I’m getting older, I’m coming to terms with the fact that it’s not only ok to ask for help, it doesn’t make me “weak” or incapable to do so. In fact, it makes me that much stronger. Mobility aids exist to make our lives easier, no matter what age you are. For many people with disabilities, their mobility aid is literally a part of them and the vehicle through which they’re able to live their day-to-day lives.

And, hey, with my limp and mask wearing, I already stand out anyway, so why not stand out even more? 😂 I think I’m going to put some stickers on her to jazz her up a bit too. Give her the Prue Leith treatment.

What Made Me Happy This Week 🌞💞

• Can You Really See My Disability -

  Kelly Mack
  (📰)- Kelly always has a way of making me feel completely understood and seen with her writing, while also enlightening me on some aspects of what other disabled go through that I haven’t thought of before. I have what’s considered an invisible disability, even with my very visible limp, but she makes such an important point here that whether or not your disability is visible, there are still many parts that people can’t see.

  Bonus: Can You Really See My Disability?

• The Everygirl - 6 Green Flags You’re Becoming Your Best Self (📰)- I think we can all agree that the listicles culture online has gotten a little out-of-hand (sorry if you’re a writer for some 😂). If only all of life’s challenges and mysteries could be solved with 6-10 steps from an article. That being said, I really like some of the content The Everygirl has, even though there are loads of listicles. This article in particular struck me recently. Instead of red flags you need to avoid, you can celebrate those green flags that pop up and show you how much you’re growing. It made me feel good to read versus the pressure of “oh no, I need to do all of these things right now!” that listicles sometimes cause.

• Geek Girl (📺) - This series that dropped on Netflix about a neurodivergent teen in London who kind of stumbles into a modeling career is funny and heartwarming. Teenage Jackie watches it seeing a lot myself in the lead character, Harriet, even though I am not myself neurodivergent. I really appreciated the way that part of Harriet was presented and the lead actor is, in fact, neurodivergent herself.

Wishing you all a happy weekend ❤️