Disability and Determination is a weekly newsletter about my experience living with a rare disability…with a little bit of meditation, pop culture, and other random things thrown in.
“I met someone when I wasn’t looking”… This is how it happened for me. We dated for 6 years, were married for 12 (no kids, thank God), and now I've been divorced for almost 6 years. I don't plan to date or marry ever again. Initially, Mr. Ex and I found each other through Matchmaker.com before meeting in person--by accident--a week later. I feel that dating apps these days are nothing but people wanting hook-ups not real relationships. It's just not worth it. I'd rather be alone--prefer it, actually--and I'm REALLY here for it. LOL Like Alisa said, I'm good in my own company.
That’s funny you met online and then ran into each other on accident. I definitely prefer to be alone but as I get older and my parents do too and they can’t help me anymore, I may not have the option to stay single. But also don’t want to get into a relationship just to have someone to help me. I’m still holding out for a Golden Girls situation 😂
I love this piece you've shared... people so often make life into a foot race and it's all made up nonsense. I love finally knowing I'm good in my own company... no apps required. And there's nothing actually wrong with that :)
I met my first love in my father's garage. He was playing drums in the band of high school friends; I talked my dad into lending the space for practice. I met my super ex-boyfriend on a film set where we were both crew. I met another long-term entanglement over the phone. My last boyfriend I reconnected with at a schoolmate's memorial. You never know where you will meet the person you are going to be with (for a time or forever). Sure, I've met others at bars/pubs, the gym, through friends but only one online (so far) and that was back in the early aughts. The suck part is that, if we are being slow-social to avoid COVID, online is going to be the only place to meet someone. I mean, sure, there's Whole Foods, but I'm in my mask whipping my cart around at 8:30 on a Sunday morning. He's going to have to move pretty quick. BUT women are being very vocal about how happy we are on our own. Sure, if you bring something wonderful into our lives, we'll welcome you in, but we aren't sitting by the phone/screen waiting to be picked. We are making our own lives, creating our own chosen families, and fulfilling ourselves. xo
I stayed single for a few years. For the first time in my life. I was adamant there would be no dating websites. I didn’t have the time, energy or inclination!
I kept telling others the person would come along and I’d meet them naturally or not at all. People thought I was crazy. Luckily I’d got used to that and took it as a sign I was on the right path😆 in the end it took longer than I’d envisaged.
I spent time dating myself and realising that was time and space for me I was never going to get back. Also, that I was fun to be around. Even though I’ve always had loads of friends and been loved by many, I didn’t realise I was such good company. It was a revelation.
Whilst there are some things that are easier with a partner, there are some that are tricky where living with a chronic illness is concerned. And so much that isn’t spoken about (like opening up to receive all that it is you want, dream and desire - getting clear on what you want and what’s most important to you in the first place).
I was interviewed on a podcast about it somewhere (i’d initially put myself on a sex ban so it was very popular). Let me know if you’d like the link.
“I met someone when I wasn’t looking”… This is how it happened for me. We dated for 6 years, were married for 12 (no kids, thank God), and now I've been divorced for almost 6 years. I don't plan to date or marry ever again. Initially, Mr. Ex and I found each other through Matchmaker.com before meeting in person--by accident--a week later. I feel that dating apps these days are nothing but people wanting hook-ups not real relationships. It's just not worth it. I'd rather be alone--prefer it, actually--and I'm REALLY here for it. LOL Like Alisa said, I'm good in my own company.
That’s funny you met online and then ran into each other on accident. I definitely prefer to be alone but as I get older and my parents do too and they can’t help me anymore, I may not have the option to stay single. But also don’t want to get into a relationship just to have someone to help me. I’m still holding out for a Golden Girls situation 😂
I love this piece you've shared... people so often make life into a foot race and it's all made up nonsense. I love finally knowing I'm good in my own company... no apps required. And there's nothing actually wrong with that :)
So well said! 👏
I met my first love in my father's garage. He was playing drums in the band of high school friends; I talked my dad into lending the space for practice. I met my super ex-boyfriend on a film set where we were both crew. I met another long-term entanglement over the phone. My last boyfriend I reconnected with at a schoolmate's memorial. You never know where you will meet the person you are going to be with (for a time or forever). Sure, I've met others at bars/pubs, the gym, through friends but only one online (so far) and that was back in the early aughts. The suck part is that, if we are being slow-social to avoid COVID, online is going to be the only place to meet someone. I mean, sure, there's Whole Foods, but I'm in my mask whipping my cart around at 8:30 on a Sunday morning. He's going to have to move pretty quick. BUT women are being very vocal about how happy we are on our own. Sure, if you bring something wonderful into our lives, we'll welcome you in, but we aren't sitting by the phone/screen waiting to be picked. We are making our own lives, creating our own chosen families, and fulfilling ourselves. xo
I stayed single for a few years. For the first time in my life. I was adamant there would be no dating websites. I didn’t have the time, energy or inclination!
I kept telling others the person would come along and I’d meet them naturally or not at all. People thought I was crazy. Luckily I’d got used to that and took it as a sign I was on the right path😆 in the end it took longer than I’d envisaged.
I spent time dating myself and realising that was time and space for me I was never going to get back. Also, that I was fun to be around. Even though I’ve always had loads of friends and been loved by many, I didn’t realise I was such good company. It was a revelation.
Whilst there are some things that are easier with a partner, there are some that are tricky where living with a chronic illness is concerned. And so much that isn’t spoken about (like opening up to receive all that it is you want, dream and desire - getting clear on what you want and what’s most important to you in the first place).
I was interviewed on a podcast about it somewhere (i’d initially put myself on a sex ban so it was very popular). Let me know if you’d like the link.